nicnevyn

We had dinner with friends last night, they are new friends, although our knowledge of them goes back several years, it is only in the last 6 months or so the relationship has developed.  New, but not actually new relationships seems to have become a bit of a trend over the last few months, and is something I want to embrace further in the coming year.

Having withdrawn almost entirely from the online community in which I was almost obessively active (although I ended up creating this anonymous blog as I realised journalling was an important part of my personal outlet a few weeks after I deleted my very long running and active journal); I started to realise how disfunctional most of the online occult/pagan/magical communities are, and the real life ones aren’t an awful lot better as a “general” rule, remember rules are from time to time meant to be broken and as such there are always outstanding exceptions to EVERY rule.

But, there is something inherantly “wrong” with groups where people declare almost obsessive loyalty to “friends” they have never met, or journals where you have a “friends” list and again those so called friends you may not actually know from adam. Friendships should be real and tangible things, built over years, drinking, eating, sleeping, loving, grieving, arguing and a multitute of other things, done together, here in the flesh, not the aetheric realm of cyberspace.

So when approaching the online pagan/occult/magical communites there is one fundmental thing to bear in mind that even if like me you weren’t looking for an order/lodge/coven (lets not even go there purleeese), and just hoping to find like minded folks with which to interact, the “real deal” ones aren’t sitting tied to a computer day in day out posting mindless drivel to big themselves up in a “ooo look aren’t I uber maggiiikkkal”. Real folks are living it, really living it, what ever “it” may be, what ever is thier true will and purpose.

And don’t be fooled by the “hardcore” pagans/witches/magicians either, most of them haven’t got a clue. They have read just enough to make them sound academic and credible and are exceptionately good with wikipedia, but that is the limit of thier experience, all will be “damaged” in someway, all “unstable”, all “looking” for something that will fit thier blinkered view of thier tiny corner of the world. And if they don’t find it, they will destroy what they find, all the time professing that they are right, that thiers is the one true way (ring any bells anybody?) and declaring others clueless idiots in the process, so as to ensure that they can continue kidding themeselves in the process.

Anyway, some how, whilst I came away older, wiser,a bit battered around the edges and with a lot less “friends”, fortune smiled and rewarded me with a few long standing aquaintances, who once I wised up a little, offered the hand of friendship. Real people, genuine people, who very quietly go about thier business, with little fuss or “dwama” ™.

So I am sitting here contemplating the new year that is fast approaching and wonder what other old yet new experiences I will have, and felt I had to share five years of hard earned experience when dealing with the online community, makes me feel a bit of an idiot really, as it isn’t rocket science.

This will grow over the next few days I am sure, with major rantage predicted within 24hrs. It’s been 48hrs since my home was my own and I am now really starting to feel it. I cannot move in my own kitchen without the MIL hanging over my shoulder inspecting what I am doing. I cannot pick up a book without being interrupted, and half my books I cannot read in front of the MIL and FIL for fear of offending them. My main christmas presents are still wrapped upstairs, as it was decided that it would be politic not to open them. What are they, the works of Copernicus and Kepler for goodness sake.  In that particular relationship “Women know thier place”!!!! We learnt this lesson the hard way when the books of Hebrew and Greek Gematria and the Gnostic Gospels were discovered and many stern looks were given.

You know this may be the season of goodwill to all men, but I have decided that goodwill when your home is involved has a finite time limit, it may be about 72hrs, I fear if they stay longer I may have to actually escape my own home and go refugee with well basically anybody that will lend me a sofa.

Tonight seems like as good a night as any, (if not more so) to discuss this topic. It’s a sure fire way of weeding out the fakes and the flakes that is for sure.

You will hear in RL and read many a post by the ardent neo pagan telling you how good they are at connecting with the land, how they are red in tooth and claw and understand and honour the ancestors, my arse. Now go and ask them about Genius loci, and 9 times out of 10 they will tell you great tales of “experiences” they have had in neolithic and megalithic so called “sacred” sites, if your lucky you might get  one that has done a little more historic research and might tell you of local lore and legend.

Now ask them about necromancy and watch the newbies blanche and the hardliners scream about judeao-christian influences that are supposedly not “real” witchcraft.

Now go and ask them what they do with thier ancestors?

What am I getting at here, well it is a common newbie question, “how do I work with the genius loci?” and they get fed drivel. They think they have to find a special place, somewhere “sacred”. This is normally told to them in a supercillious manner as if they should know better and thus the eager but innocent newbie damn near kills themselves feeling inadquate trying to find that special place, clueless (as thier erstwhile superiors are) to the truth beneath thier noses.

If you want to work with Genius Loci, the first thing you should be doing is establishing the spirit of the place in which you live. Each house has one, the Greco-Romans called them Lares, but here in the UK we have an abundance of welsh, scottish, irish, manx and cornish folklore that indicates that we too, honoured ALL spirits of the place especially domestic. You should feel it, work with it, feed it, include it into your family life, if your “out” enough give it an image to dwell in, a focal point.

Then you need to consider other kinds of Genius Loci, those that are integral to you, in reality you will be commiting an act of necromancy because from time to time you will end up conversing with the spirits of the dead, YOUR ancestors. Set them up a place to live, preferably in the heart of the home, they too need to be worked with, honoured and fed, after all they are your elders, those that were, are and will be; after all time is subjective, not relative.

And remember, these are YOUR true Genius Loci and the ones that will teach you the most, be it that you live in a city bedsit or a remote derbyshire cottage. And anybody that tells you, that you are being fluffy, smile gently and laugh at them, because the chances are they haven’t actually got a clue, and most certainly never trust a person that claims to be a real “practioner” or pagan when they do not understand this concept, chances are they are full of bull.

A word of warning though, don’t ignore your Genius Loci or get bored with working with them, they have ways and means of letting you know thier displeasure. If you can’t keep up the work, don’t start it at all, it is, believe it or not less of an insult, than starting a job and then leaving it undone.

So why tonight, is it appropriate to discuss this topic, well at the dark time of the year was the time for stories of old, stories of the ancestors, it was a time also of weaving and spinning and household chores, a time when your own Genius Loci was the most important of all, so if you were to want to work with them tonight would be a good night to start, lol so leave a bowl of milk out for the brownie why don’t you

Tomorrow the 22nd of December at 06:08 GMT is the winter solstice. I’m not really a Solstice person, my observance is normally limited to a brief recognition of the date before I go about my daily business. Being a liminal person generally the equinoxes far better suit my personal needs and praxis.

But this year I am tempted to make a little more of this particular celebration. This year has been a year of swinging wildly between extremes both magically and mundanely and particularly since just before Samhain this year. Perhaps the Lord of Misrule decided to pay me an early visit, or more likely it is just indicative of the extensive deconstruction and changes of perspective as to the important things, that has occurred in my life in the last year, that has had my ego flailing wildly in uncertainty, after all, the average person fears change.

However in the last fortnight, basically since the dark of the moon, I feel the path towards equilibrium is being re-established; funny though isn’t it, when you go through a time of profound change or development, when you look back at what you thought was balanced, it was far from the truth, ah well they do say hindsight is 20/20 and I suspect whoever “they” are; are totally correct.

Anyway, perhaps part of achieveing equilibrium is understanding that liminal times are not the only times, that if balance has to be achieved then one must factor in the extremes into the equation. Perhaps it is time to do more than just cock a wink at the sun on the solstices after all.